Sometimes you can interpret conversations wrong... Day 91
Oct 10, 2018
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tk1S0zZILJI

this is my story and welcome to it
[Music]
good morning to my wonderful you do fan
yeah oh gosh
good morning to you guys though we're
already starting our runs again why not
we love being in the car ya know in
anyways yeah we started out quickly this
morning so that's why I'm just out
checking in which it's only 12:30 so I'm
doing good but we needed to do a couple
more cars but we're only gonna do two
this time instead of three three was I
think three was just a little bit too
much for the kids they were just like
totally not having it yesterday they
were good for the part of it but then
the other part they were like yeah we're
done we are done so we're just gonna do
a couple runs and then come back
I think I'm gonna I'm gonna workout
today but I might do a sit-down workout
depending because I'm still really heavy
on flow so I don't over exert myself but
I definitely want to start getting
movement going I am so excited I took a
picture but I can't I can't post it
because I wasn't covered and I'm like
darted but I did take a picture of what
I'm wearing today which is an active
wear outfit so freaking cute
and I am so so so so excited that my
tank tops that I work like that I
workout in they are like getting longer
on me I was so excited because now
they're getting to the point where
I can actually like cover rentals
something so yeah that was very exciting
so I got in firm to worry that there's
i6 which granted no matter what I'll
probably go to a size six no matter what
until they're just like wait loose loose
loose on me
but until then I will keep wearing a
size six but what I'm gonna do is I
think I'm gonna go online and see how
much they are and possibly get another
black and another white one I don't know
Tord always tells them so it's not like
something that's gonna go out of style
so if I don't want to get them now then
I can definitely wait I have one black I
have one white but I love to wear tank
tops like under like like this like
under my jacket things like that and
they're just comfortable because they
help me not get too hot so I'm just
debating on how I want to do that
so in tee ways but I just want to check
in with you guys and say an official
good morning and I hope you guys are
having a wonderful starching your guys's
Wednesday and are choosing what day am I
on my goodness I am so off on my days I
did this yesterday but I hope that you
guys are having a great start here this
morning afternoon
and yeah I will check in with you guys
again in a little bit but I just wanted
to say good morning and let you guys
know what we are kind of clearly you all
can see that Amy is done for the day and
my makeup even shows it to you I'm in a
having issues
honey difficult technical difficulties
with my glasses good evening it's an
official good evening
oh my gosh and welcome to you Tuesday
night to do what it was a very long day
to say the least um anyways today was a
very long Dagan just because we did well
we didn't do try not to yawn we didn't
do as many runs back and forth but it
was just you know like I was explaining
to ollie today I said you know I think
what it is is it's not even the fact
that
it's like the back and forth it's just
the driving the driving literally
exhausts me and I don't understand why
like I mean I told him I said I don't
know how literally I do not know I do
not know how I taxi drivers and uber
drivers and do it truck drivers I don't
know I really don't because for me it's
like uh-uh
I couldn't do it I literally I would
scream I would scream literally look at
when I smile you can start it you're
starting to see my dimples are yes you
guys I do have temples but they're
hidden they are hidden from the vacation
we went today and took a picture I was
wearing a active outfit today like him
active exercising outfit and I took
pictures of that to submit to torrid to
possibly be featured in their activewear
line so that will be kind of exciting if
I can somehow fit it in this clip II
here I will try and do it where you guys
can actually see it I am so tired you
guys I've been like this and then it
just dawned on me today that for some
reason I completely have been forgetting
to take my depression pills like I take
my mood swing pills but boy I've been
forgetting my my depression pills so I
have to remind myself like cuz it's hard
because with my the anxiety medicine
it's three times a day and I'm really
hot it's really really bad too
for me to remember like I really have a
hard time so I have like I have a set
here I have right mood on it so I just
grab it and go so I have a bottle in
here that usually sits in my whatever
it's called well it usually goes in my
kitchen and then I have someone yeah I
have another bottle and that goes in my
purse so when I'm gone because I have to
take it at 8 3 & 8 is how I do it but
boy I forget to take it all the time so
I finally put a bottle in he I have a
bottle in the house a bottle in my purse
so wherever I'm at there's no excuse I
have alarm set on my phone because you
guys I cannot for the life of me remind
myself to take my anxiety pills but the
funny thing is is that I have been so
preoccupied to remember to take my
anxiety pills and I have forgotten to
take mine to take my depression pill so
yeah we're doing great we are doing
fantastic and then call me call me quite
funny but I put my I put my makeup that
I need to carry in my person one of
these so it doesn't get smashed have you
ever found somebody to do that take my
little caboodle I'm gonna go and it's
actually a index card thing I got from
Dollar Tree like years ago years ago I
don't even know if they carry these
anymore but it has like a couple
different color shades of lip gloss it
has my eyeliner that I did in the car
today and again I clearly goofed on one
of them it has my extra shades of
eyeshadow has my mascara so yeah I have
a little bit of odds and ends and that
just simply goes straight into my purse
and I carry that around with me my purse
I changed my purses out so now I'm using
this purse so it was a goodwill purse
because we I love purses I could take
purses off of anybody's hands ever
anybody ever want to get rid of their
purses let me know I will definitely
show up to take those off your hands no
I do I love purses I am a purse fanatic
so I'm always loving little finds that I
can get so I stopped at Goodwill because
well this is a while back before they
decided to jack the prices higher than
you know a actual like mall price but I
do or I would stop off at dollar chart
Dollar Tree I would stop off at Goodwill
and like like this one but I think I
want to see was like a $7.99 purse and
it's nice it's a lizzing co but i mean
yeah i love i love good finds they make
me feel special special special so I
feel not in thought well yeah no can't
go wrong with that yeah so anyways yeah
that was pretty much my day as you seen
was in the car didn't do a whole lot
came home that was not supposed to
happen I came home I made dinner so I
thought I was in the mood for it's spam
turkey spam it's gonna make me throw up
just thinking about it now turkey spam
eggs scrambled eggs and corn the thought
of it I'm gonna get sick and then I took
I have not been picking my lips and all
of a sudden oh they're bleeding I've
been really doing good I promise I
haven't been picking
um anyways and so I made corn with it
and I mixed it all together and then I
put ketchup over it I stomach it stomach
it because I didn't wanna waste it but
let's just say Amy will never make that
mixture again I do like spam and corn
together I don't know why I thought to
add that uh oh and I put a little cheese
I don't know what got me to make the
eggs but but I did eat about half of my
portion that I had served for myself and
I stopped myself just like I can't do it
I can do it so we stopped and then I
made the kids pizza for dinner and then
I cleaned up the kitchen and then I gave
the babies baths and then showered
Jeremih showered I did two loads of
laundry put them away although I have a
pile of clothes looking at me right now
that I need to fold and put away for
myself and I think that's it um it was
kind of just a an odd day an odd day I
will say that tomorrow
Olly has he's gonna go to the car
auction with a buddy of his so I'm gonna
be taking Jeremiah to school tomorrow
and then I will be coming home and then
we're just gonna stay home so I don't
know exactly what I have in store I need
to do some work on the computer some
work on the computer and clean up she
probably really it there's not too much
going on that I can think of so yeah
that's really gonna be my day tomorrow
is gonna be pretty
chillax as far as I know unless
something happens and I end up going
somewhere but I doubt
because I don't know what the weather's
gonna be tomorrow if it's not raining I
might take the kids and I might go to
Walmart cuz I have a few things that I
need to take back to them so if that's
the case I might take those things those
items back and replace what I need to
replace from them but otherwise I don't
think I've got too much going on
tomorrow so anyways that's about my day
for today and tomorrow but I will
definitely check in with you guys first
thing in the morning and let you know
what's going on um I hope you guys
enjoyed the vlog again like I said it
was a kind of a floppy flog a floppy
flog a floppy of la hug just because you
know it was just we we've been running
so many back-and-forth I did talk with
my mom today about the text message that
I sent her and she she said that I
completely misunderstood her that she
did not mean for it to be the way that
she said it or that she didn't even say
it the way that I guess I heard it which
okay um all he said no you heard it the
way you heard it but now it's coming
back to be changed so I don't know I
just um but I guess she said that she
did not say it that way that she did not
mean it to come off that way that she
did not mean for me to interpret it that
way and that she was extremely sorry and
that she would never bash her grandson
like that and um and I said well you
know people can perceive things however
they hear them and I guess when you put
two things together which is my son and
a very sensitive subject I guess maybe I
got straight on the
finn's side and I probably did hear it
the way that I heard it but maybe it
wasn't clearly the way that you meant it
but it is the way that I heard it and
you know she said well the moment bear
came out and I said you're damn right it
did I said you're darn right you nobody
will put my children down and not expect
me to step up and say something like
that's just clearly not gonna happen I
am very very very protective of my kids
and I guess you could say that that's
because of how it was when I was raised
up that I had to always be my own
protector because they didn't have a lot
of that so in return now it's like you
know and I told her that today I was
like you know I didn't have a lot of
protection when growing up my protection
wasn't me
so as my children are growing up for
sure you're right I am gonna be very
defensive and I am very protective of my
kids and when I see a reason for me to
step up and say hey you know I am NOT
okay with the things that are said or
whatever you're darn right you're gonna
believe that I'm gonna hear it and I'm
gonna say it and I'm gonna respond back
however I feel the need to respond back
so you know I mean everything is fine
you know and I just told her I said
let's just drop it you know it's in the
past but you know you know how I feel
about it and you know I'm not gonna say
I'm sorry for you know defending my son
and myself in the subject because I no
longer am sorry when I feel the need to
stand up and say something about my
feelings but before I used to apologize
overly almost like I constantly would oh
I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry
and it's like where did that sorry get
me it made me look like I was a softie
that I was a doormat
that said come step on me so for me it's
just like no I didn't say I was sorry
because I don't feel sorry for you know
how I responded but I also wanted her to
know that I love her and that's not
gonna change my husband is still very
affected by it and he is very upset
about it reason yeah I mean totally he
has all reasons to be and you know when
she even said so let me guess you were
in you ran and told your husband and you
know she said you know you can't hold
water through your fingers when it comes
to your husband and I said no I can't I
was like you know my husband is my best
friend and I share everything with my
husband mind you in boundaries you know
if I am talking to somebody
confidentially and they're
confidentially sharing things with me
that is different and I can I can hold
those things away from my husband
because he wouldn't want me to share
those things if I'm if somebody's
confiding in me but in a subject or a
situation like that why would I hide
that from my husband why would I you
know cuz like he said Amy if you didn't
share that with me now I would find out
later and that's gonna cause an issue
because then I'm gonna feel like you are
hiding things that you clearly knew
probably needed to be brought up to my
attention so you know it just I I think
all in all it just is how everything
panned out is how it landed but I also
think too that she knew immediately
going into the comment that she said
well don't ready to go tell your husband
why would you say that unless you were
ashamed of what you were saying and
knowing how my husband was gonna respond
to it
so anyways to clear that up we did talk
about it today
kisum made up which I was a matter I
never was mad at her I just wanted to
share my insights and you know let her
know that these things are not okay
we're not gonna talk like this anymore
so anyways other than that that was
really that was it that was my day that
was that was the day boo boo so um I
will check in with you guys Bratton shot
I a to morrow morning until then take
care of sweet dreams
bye bye
